Taxicabs San Francisco

Suggestions for family members who have recently experienced the death of a loved one
from the website of the Fire Department of New York's Counseling Services Unit.

Things To Try To Help You Cope

It might seem odd to be focusing on routine things like fixing meals or household chores but keeping to your normal routines can be very comforting and grounding. Here are some additional things to try at this time.

• Talk to others, including family, friends, or religious advisors about your feelings - talking is the most healing medicine.
  
  
• Give yourself permission to feel whatever you feel - good or bad.
  
  
• Be patient with yourself. You are not expected to act or feel normal.
  
  
• Reach out to others who are facing a similar situation.
  
  
• Take care of yourself as a parent, aunt, and/or friend. Children and others will take your lead.
  
  
• Whatever religion or spiritual practices you may have - this is the time to use them. Call upon your spiritual advisors or community of faith.
  
  
• Allow yourself crying time - public or private.
  
  
• Let others help you do small tasks.
  
  
• Spend time with others - do not feel you have to talk to anyone about how you are feeling but allow others to be around you.
  
  
• Eat well-balanced and regular meals, even if you don't feel like it.
  
  
• Try to sleep and rest as much as you can.
  
  
• Exercise - even if it means walking around the block.
  
  
• Keep a journal - write down thoughts and feelings.
  
  
• Try not to make any big life changes at this time.

When To Reach Out For Help

As you read through this list understand that it is normal to experience some of these signs and symptoms. These signs and symptoms should diminish over time but sometimes the traumatic event is so painful that professional assistance from a counselor may be necessary. This does not imply craziness or weakness. It simply indicates that the particular event is just too powerful for a person to manage by themselves.

Some Signs And Signals To Look Out For In ADULTS:

• Fear, disbelief suspicion, anger, anxiety, or apathy
  
  
• Short temper, moodiness, and irritability
  
  
• Confusion, numbness, and flashbacks
  
  
• Difficulty in making decisions
  
  
• Excessive helpfulness to other disaster victims
  
  
• Loss of appetite
  
  
• Crying for no apparent reason
  
  
• Increased effects from allergies, colds, and flu
  
  
• Rejecting or feeling disappointment with outside help
  
  
• Isolation from family, friends, and social activities

Some Signs And Signals To Look Out For In CHILDREN:

• Constant headaches and stomach aches
  
  
• Reluctance to go to bed or sleep alone ever
  
  
• Insomnia and recurring nightmares
  
  
• Withdrawal from family and friends
  
  
• Fantasies that nothing has happened
  
  
• Temper tantrums and/or crying constantly
  
  
• Shortened attention span
  
  
• Plummeting school performance and/or refusal to attend school
  
  
• Refusal to eat
  
  
• Drug and alcohol abuse by older children
  

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