He repeated the number, "Tree hunert toity-tree," and immediately began questioning me about what I thought of the present Labor Government, the Beatles, mod fashions and so on -- all in the richest Brooklyn accents. As I paid him he looked me up and down and stated in tones of awe, "Gee, buddy, you sure do moider the English language!"
Bill for taxi ride.
At fifty cents a went.
Heyerdahl, Thor 1
Root, Elihu 1
Beatrice Lillie, carrying her Pekinese puppy, took a cab to a smart London hotel. As she got out, she noticed a small puddle on the seat. The driver noticed it at the same time and began to complain. Slipping a large tip into his hand, Miss Lillie said firmly, "I did it," and whisked into the hotel.
There was a young lady of Blacksea
Whose ears were tremendously waxy.
A suitor most fine
Shouted, `Wilt thou be mine?'
But she thought he was hailing a taxi.
Don't ride with a wild London cabby...
There was a young girl of Coxsaxie...
Said a timid young girl in Hong Kong...
A taxi-cab whore out at Iver...
Michael O'Brian was parked in front of the Hotel Mc Alpin. The doorman called him for a fare. The fare got into his cab and he told him he wanted to go to Grand Central Station.
It was a poor night for Michael O'Brian and this fare looked like an apple pusher (an out-of-towner.) So Michael O'Brian thought that he would take this man for a little sight-seeing trip.
So he started to ride him up Park Avenue, over the Queensboro Bridge, through Long Island, through Brooklyn. He came back on the Manhattan Bridge and when he got him to Grand Central Station the passenger got out of his car and he asked him how much was on the meter.
Michael O'Brian, in the dark, looked at his meter and it registered $5.70 and that's what he told the passenger, expecting a squawk.
When the passenger heard that amount he said, "That's strange. The last time I took that ride the driver charged me $6.20!"
"That's when it hit me. A bad fare to Italy. I was about to collapse from laughter," Mr. Gilberg, 24, said by telephone from Aarhus, Denmark, yesterday. "I could hardly contain myself when he said the Pope owed him money." Mr. Gilberg, an economics student from Fredikstad, Norway, drives part-time for an Aarhus taxi company. So when the owner asked him to drive the 66-year-old man to Rome last week, Mr. Gilberg assumed everything was in order. So did the taxi company, since the man took a cab to Rome last year. During the 24-hour drive through Denmark, Germany, Austria and most of Italy, the customer seemed unusually quiet. At the Vatican, the customer claimed the Pope owed him $11,000, and then admitted that "the voices in his head might have misled him," said Mr. Gilberg. Mr. Gilberg stopped for a quick tour of the Vatican, then drove the man home to Denmark. (Associated Press)
"Aw, wot's the matter with you?" demanded one.
"Nothink's the matter with me you bloomin' idiot."
"You gave me a narsty look," persisted the first.
"Me? Why, you certainly 'ave a narsty look, but I didn't give it to you, so 'elp me!"
New taxi drivers going to work for Parmelee as a general rule don't know the rules and regulations much.
A man jumps in to a new driver's cab, "Quick Go around the block in a hurry!"
Having gone around once the passenger said, "Go around again." Then he paid 25 cents.
After this the driver looked in the cab in the back and found that the man had vomited. He goes to a cop, "Hey! What will I do with this? A man goes around a couple of blocks and leaves this in my cab!"
The cop says, "Well, you know the city regulations. If nobody calls for it in three days you can keep it!"
The indignant householder held up before the policeman the dead cat that had been lying by the curb three days.
"What am I to do with this?" he demanded.
"Take it to headquarters," was the serene reply. "If nobody claims it within a reasonable time, it's your property."
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